Hi all Tom Cruise and his motorcycle are back in action this week, in part one of the Finale. Ratings have been good, so enjoy ... also on the big IMAX and 4DX screens. For the kiddies, we have the Chinese-made animated film, Boonie Bears: Guardian Code, based on the TV series. For the adults, we have the local horror death fest in You're Next. The Cannes Wrap-up 2023 moves down to the V+A Waterfront this week, while opera fans can catch Mozart's Die Zauberflöte on the art circuit. Next week sees the much-hyped and eagerly anticipated live-action Barbie movie arrive, and there are premieres at selected venues (multiple screens) on Thursday evening. Book early and wear pink! :-) Enjoy. :-) New this week * Boonie Bears: Guardian Code (PG7-9 V PPS) * Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (13 V) * Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (IMAX) (13 V) * Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (4DX) (13 V) * You're Next (16 LVHD) https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm Forthcoming attractions https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the home page poster https://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper) List of all movies showing https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Showtimes https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Enjoy :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched with tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I just watched a two-hour documentary on how modern jetliners are manufactured. It was riveting --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Spanish friend is destined to save the world. He really is the chosen Juan. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone... He saw he had 10 missed calls from Chuck Norris. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. But it turns out that identity theft is a crime. ;( --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I saw a sketchy looking guy walking on the street with six smoke machines. So I called the cops. He must be part of some extreme mist group. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Man Vacations in Spain While he's there, he decides to get a tattoo to remember the trip by. Just his luck, though, the tattoo get infected. The local who has been showing him around notices the next day and offers to lend a hand. "I know a guy who specializes in this exact thing," the local says. "He's a friend of mine and I'm sure he'll help you out." "Really?" the tourist asks. "I would never expect you to know someone who specializes specifically in tattoo related medical issues." The local turns to him and simply says, "Of course, nobody expects the Spanish Ink Physician." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife and I just bought a house. It came with two separate sheds in the backyard. But lately we’ve been arguing a lot about what goes in which shed. It’s all about that he-shed/she-shed nonsense. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A husband buys his wife 12 panties, all the same color. The wife asks "Why the same color? People will think I don't change my panties." Husband: Which people??? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was lonely, so I bought some shares. It’s nice to have a bit of company. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two donkeys are standing at the roadside, one asks the other: ”Shall we cross?” His friend replies: “No way, look what happened to that zebra”. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally took a misstep and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried. I’d always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about. I’ll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Sergeant in the army is out fishing with a navy sailor. A big gust of wind hits their small boat, and it capsizes. The Sergeant starts to swim to shore, but he notices his friend is sinking and panicking in the water, so swims back, and pulls him to safety. “Please don’t tell anyone about this.” The sailor says, “If people found out I can’t swim I’d be the laughing stock of the navy.” “I understand.” Says the Sergeant, “My men would be devastated if they found out I can’t walk on water.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife and I were arguing as to whose turn it is to do the laundry. Finally... I threw in the towel. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- When does a 'joke' becomes a 'dad joke?' When it becomes apparent. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Doctor: “Sir, i have bad news, i’m afraid your DNA is backwards” Me: "AND?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which the son translated, “What are the guys in the big suits doing?” A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got really excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate. He refused. So the NASA reps took the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder’s message to the moon. Finally, NASA called in an official government translator. He reported that the moon message said: “Watch out for these guys; they’ve come to steal your land.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What was Napoleon’s favourite piece of chicken? The wing. He liked to pick the bone apart. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the guy that tells everyone what the colors on the graph mean? That guy’s a legend. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I hate it when people don’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your”. There stupid.