Hi all Another short week with the holiday on Thursday, and a bumper long week-end for some. Only two new movies this week. First up from Hollywood is the romantic battle of wills in Beautiful Disaster. From Bollywood, more comedy romance, wrapped up in some violent action, in Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan. New movies open next Thursday, no previews this week. New this week * Beautiful Disaster (16 LNSVD) * Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan (probably 16) (Hindi) https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm Forthcoming attractions https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the home page poster https://www.moviesite.co.za/ List of all movies showing https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm This Week's pinup https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (cellphone HD wallpaper) Showtimes https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Enjoy :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My psychiatrist’s Rorschach ink-blot tests are so stupid. They’re just pictures of my parents fighting. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer "Smoking" or "Non-smoking"... Apparently the correct terms are "Cremation" and "Burial". --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The cops in my town are looking for a suspect who they are calling “the birthday party thief”. I’ve seen a lot of crazy criminals, ... but this one takes the cake. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whenever I get a stack of resumes on my desk at work, I always pick half at random and throw them out Don’t need unlucky people working in my department. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- At the request of my wife, I have placed an order for a box of ants to be shipped from Italy... She said we need more Rome ants in our relationship. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a group of people with something in common, but hate each other? Drivers. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I dream of one day swimming in an ocean of orange carbonated water. It's my Fanta sea. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- It doesn't matter how nice the soap smells.. Never let anyone see you walk out of the bathroom sniffing your fingers. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I've managed 434 days, 12 hours, 47 minutes and 17 seconds of sobriety. I'm so glad alcohol doesn't dictate my life any more. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other? "Whoops, my fault" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I think my friend is lying when he claimed he reached the top of Mount Everest last year. I’m not sure if ... he made it up. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- One thing I realized is that most women are looking for security in their lives. Anytime I approach one of them, they yell out, “Security!” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A woman is swiping through Tinder at work, and her co-worker say, "Honey, you ain't never gonna find your husband on Tinder." "You may be right," she replied. "I found yours, though." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Which celebrity is always ready for ice cream? Reese, with her spoon. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” “Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- New business idea: We sell cammo tshirts. We call it "Casual tees of war"! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I told my priest I was being haunted by an overweight ghost. He said I needed to exorcise more. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- After the palace meteorologist assured them there was no chance of rain, the King and the Queen went fishing. On the way, they met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and they asked the man if the fish were biting. The fisherman said, "Your Majesties, you should return to the palace. In just a short time I expect a huge rainstorm." The King replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him." So, the King continued on his way. However, in a short time, torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked. Furious, the King returned to the palace and gave the order to execute the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster. The fisherman said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain." So, the King hired the donkey. And so began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government. The practice continues to this day. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Even when I mess up, I never say I'm sorry. I say that I'm safe instead. I've heard it's better.