Newsletter and jokes 3 February 2023


 
Hi all 
 
Two new movies this week. First up is the latest from M. Night Shyamalan, 
with his trademark twisty thriller style, Knock at the Cabin. 
 
That's joined by awards-season favourite, The Banshees of Inisherin,  
which arrives with 9 Oscar nominations, and another 108 wins and 315  
nominations. 
 
The Joburg Film Festival is still running at selected venues. 
 
New this week 
 
* Knock at the Cabin (16 LVH) 
* The Banshees of Inisherin (16 LNVD) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the home page poster 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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I taught a class on invisibility once 
 
Nobody showed up. 
At least, I think nobody showed up. 
 
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You hear about the kid who lost the spelling bee on the word "dairy"? 
 
...I told him there's no use crying over misspelled milk. 
 
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Sometimes I just absolutely need a drink before dinner. 
 
It's an imperitif. 
 
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Lance is an uncommon name now a days 
 
....but in mediaeval times people were named Lance a lot 
 
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What do you call a group of deaf cows? 
 
Not herd 
 
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A cowboy opens up a German car dealership. 
 
Audi Partner. 
 
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I hate it when people call me a Kleptomaniac. 
 
I prefer... 'Man of STEAL' 
 
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What do you call it when someone's working on an erotic novel and gets  
writer's block? 
 
Textual frustration. 
 
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Not just anyone can work at the Mountain Dew factory. 
 
You gotta have a can dew attitude. 
 
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Diarrhea is hereditary.. 
 
It runs in your jeans. 
 
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What is the difference between a camel and a dromedary? 
 
A heap. 
 
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I always wanted to be a Gregorian Monk.. 
 
But I never got the chants. 
 
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It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.  
It’s a 30 minute walk from the pub to my house. 
 
The difference is staggering. 
 
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I had a dream last night about a nocturnal horse 
 
Well, it was actually more of a night mare. 
 
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I'm not a loner. 
 
Well, I've never heard anyone ever call me one. 
 
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As I get older I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way, and I  
think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me. 
 
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I once asked my 97 year old grandfather what his secret was to such a long  
life. 
 
He said, "I'm just waiting until I can afford a funeral." 
 
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? 
 
The food was good, but it had no atmosphere. 
 
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An armed man ran into a real estate office 
 
He shouted, "Nobody move!" 
  



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