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Newsletter and jokes: 12 February 2016

Hi all

Well it's Valentine's Weekend so we have suitable fare for the young lovers,
including a new Afrikaans rom-com. There's also previews all over on 
Saturday for the upcoming local release Happiness is a Four-Letter Word.

The big release this week is Deadpool, which aims a bit above the usual
demographic for Marvel Superheroes, as it is for 16s and up only. However
initial reviews are good, as is viewer approval, so it should do well.

The Hindi market is also in for a treat with three new releases :-)


12 February 2016

* Vir Altyd (PG7-9) 	
* Deadpool (16 LSV) 	
* Deadpool (4DX) (16 LSV) 	
* Deadpool (IMAX) (16 LSV) 	
* How to be Single (16 L)
* A Perfect Day (PG10-12 L)
* Fitoor (Hindi)
* Ghayal Once Again (Hindi)
* Sanam Re (Hindi)

SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit)

Added US and UK Top Tens

Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia)

Forthcoming attractions for 19 February.

Updated the pic and quote on the home page

This Week's pinup (for the gals)

Pick of the Week

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.

List of all movies showing

Same list sorted by Age Restriction

Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian


Paddy and Murphy, working on a building site, when Paddy says "sod this, I
fancy a day off on the sick, I'm going to pretend I'm mad, and they'll
send me home". So he climbs up in the rafters, hangs upside down, and
starts shouting "I'm a light bulb, I'm a light bulb".

The foreman comes over and says "Paddy you're mad, pack your stuff and get
out!", so he packs his stuff and heads off. Murphy starts packing his
stuff up as well, so the foreman says "where the hell do you think you're
To which Murphy replies "well, you don't expect me to working in the bloody
dark, do you!!"


Bloke walks into a bar with a salmon under his arm, and says to the barman
"do you do fishcakes?" Barman relies "no", to which the man replies "that's
a shame, it's his birthday today!"


How would you pronounce this girl's name: "Le-a"?

Leah? NO
Lee - A?  NOPE
Lay - a?  NO WAY
Lei?  Guess Again.

It's pronounced "Ledasha."  Oh, yes, you read it right.  This child attends
a school in Livingston Parish, Louisiana. Her mother is irate because
everyone is getting her name wrong.  If you see something come across your
desk like this, please remember to pronounce it correctly.

When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said,
"The dash don't be silent."


My grandad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.
"It's worth spending money on good speakers," he told me.


While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant
for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and
resumed their trip. As they were leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly
left her glasses on the table and didn't miss them until they had been
driving about twenty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance
before they could find a place to turn around to return to the restaurant
to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man.

He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the
entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became.
He just wouldn't let up one minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.

As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses,
the old geezer yelled to her, "While you're in there,
you might as well get my hat and the credit card."


I wouldn't say my missus is a bad cook, but she uses the smoke alarm as a


We call our grandad "Spiderman".

He hasn't got any super powers - he just finds it difficult to get out of
the bath.


How many Indians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just a moment, sir. Let me pass you on to the right department. Please hold
the line.


DeadpoolDeadpool (4DX)A Perfect DayHow to be SingleVir AltydDeadpool (IMAX)Fitoor
Ghayal Once AgainSanam Re
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