Newsletter and jokes 8 October 2021


 
Hi all 
 
Only one new release this week, while James continues to enthrall the  
crowds. It's the sequel (How original!) to the rebooted Addams Family 
franchise. See it as a gentle warm-up for the usual October Horror. 
 
 
New this week: 
 
* The Addams Family 2 (PG VH) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper ...)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
 
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Outside the ladies’ and men’s rooms of a Texas steak house, I found a 
confused and anxious young woman who sighed with relief when she saw me. 
 
“Oh, I’m so glad you’re here,” she said. 
 
“I was afraid to enter. I didn’t know if I was a steer or a heifer.” 
 
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During the month of October, our local barbershop offers a discount for  
children if they come in wearing a Halloween costume. 
 
I suggested to my five-year-old that he go dressed in his Spider-Man outfit.  
 
“Oh, I could never do that,” he said.  
“Then everyone would know that I’m Spider-Man.” 
 
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My husband surprised me with a night out to celebrate the anniversary of  
our first date.  
I was reminded of the man I fell in love with.  
 
We arrived at the theater and learned the movie was playing at a different  
location a full hour earlier.  
I was reminded of the man I married. 
 
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I’m not a good cook. 
There, I admit it. But when my stepson came  to live with us, I really 
put my best culinary  foot forward.  
 
One evening, he made me feel so good about the meal I’d prepared when he 
asked his father to pass  the gravy.  
 
Lifting the ladle, my husband asked, “One lump or two?” 
 
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Elon Musk is now worth $208 billion. 
 
You want to know how he did it?  
 
He skipped 34.67 billion lattes. It’s that easy. 
 
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A farmer has a problem with foxes eating his hens. He asks the smartest  
person he knows, a physicist, to help him.  
 
The physicist spends all day thinking and calculating. Then, finally, he  
says, “I’ve found a solution! But it will work only for spherical chickens 
inside a vacuum.” 
 
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I’m the youngest of three.  
 
Both my parents are older. 
 
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My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger  
brother. 
 
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Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to dis a brie? 
 
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I was bemoaning to a friend how my last name, Loyer, is frequently changed  
to Lawyer by spell-check. 
 
“I can top that,” he said. He’s an anesthesiologist named Bause. 
 
“But,” he said, “spell-check insists on calling me Dr. Abuse.” 
 
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Though my last name is not long, it can be confusing. So when 
a receptionist asked for it, I tried simplifying matters by saying “It’s 
the first four letters of ‘suggest.’ ” 
 
She smiled. “And how do you spell that?” 
 
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Upon retiring as a church secretary, I gave my replacement a Rolodex  
brimming with all the contact info she would likely need. 
 
One day, she texted me asking for a name to be included in the news­ 
letter. I responded sim­ply: “Rolodex.”  
 
A week later, the newsletter an­nounced the wedding anniversary of Rolodex 
and Kathy Thomas. 
 
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Client: I put these documents in the fax machine, but they didn’t come back  
out. 
 
Me: That’s the paper shredder. 
 
Client: Oh! Can you set it to reverse? Those papers are important. 
 
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A Taiwanese couple got married and divorced four times over a span of 
a month in 2020. But they weren’t as fickle as it seems.  
 
The groom, a bank employee, took advantage of a Taiwan law that mandates  
businesses give employees eight days off for their wedding.  
 
The bank balked, but the groom got his 32 days of extra vacation. 
 
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My cell phone rang the other day, but the caller was looking for someone 
else. When I told her she had the wrong number, she verified that she had 
dialed correctly, then asked whether a certain e-mail address was mine. 
(It wasn’t.)  
 
She said the person she was looking for had filled out an on-line job  
application and was using my number. 
 
“Perhaps the person just typed it in wrong,” I said.  
“What’s the job for?”  
 
She replied, “Data entry.” 
 
 



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