Newsletter and jokes 3 September 2021

Hi all 
Disney/Marvel roll out their first Chinese SuperHero movie, not to be  
confused with regular heroes like Mulan. It's showing in all formats,  
including both big screens, so enjoy :-). Reviews have been good. 
For the little ones, we have an animated (and animalised) version of the  
classic novel, Around the World in 80 Days. It's from Europe rather than 
the USA and has not released States-side yet, so reviews are scarce. 
Similarly, the next episode in the young adult romantic angst series,  
After We Fell, is hitting the screens here before the USA, so no reviews. 
Lastly, for the adult maurket, a violent female-driven actioner, Gunpowder  
New this week: 
* Around the World in 80 Days (PG V) 
* Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (3D) (13 LV) 
* Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (13 LV) 
* Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (3D IMAX) (13 LV) 
* Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (4DX) (13 LV) 
* After We Fell (16 LSVD) 
* Gunpowder Milkshake (18 LV)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (cellphone wallpaper ...)  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
When my five-year-old came home from his very first day in kindergarten,  
I excitedly asked, “So how was your first day of school?” 
Dropping his backpack, he said,   
“Well, I’ll tell you one thing: I am never going back to that place.” 
During a drive through farm country, my mother spotted a large sign that  
made her shake her head: Orchard for Sale. 
“Well, that’s dumb,” she said.  
“Why do you say that?” I asked.  
“Who’s going to want to transplant all those trees?” 
Dubious claims my toddler made this week: 
✦ He invented the thumbs-up. 
✦ Only “some” lizards can read. 
✦ He forgot how to eat carrots.  
✦ His day care allows swords. 
The university where I teach has a policy that grades ending in 8 or 9 
receive a “+” designation (78 is a C+, 89 is a B+, etc.).  
A student received his final grade and was adamant that I left off the plus 
sign. I looked up the grade. The kid got a 58. I told him he had failed the 
“I know,” he said. “But I earned an F+, not an F.”  
“You want me to change this to an F+?” I asked.  
He said yes and left happy when I agreed. 
A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips. 
As a couple who had just moved to a new neighbourhood ate breakfast, the  
wife looked out the window and saw their neighbour hanging clothes to dry. 
“That laundry isn’t very clean,” she said.  
Her husband looked but remained silent. 
For the next month, every time their neighbour hung her clothes to dry, the  
wife made the same comment. 
Then one morning, the wife was surprised to see clean washing on the line. 
“Look!” she said. “Our neighbour finally learned how to do laundry!” 
“Nope,” the husband said.  
“I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.” 
The children at a Catholic elementary school lined up for lunch. 
At the head of the table was a large tray of apples, on which one of the  
nuns had posted this note: “Take only one — God is watching.” 
At the end of the table was a large tray of cookies, on which one of the  
children had posted this note:  
“Take all you want — God is watching the apples.” 
My favorite novel is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.  
I just love a protagonist with a twisted back story. 
“I ran a half marathon” sounds so much better than “I quit halfway through 
a marathon.” 
My professor once went to hear French philosopher Jacques Derrida speak.  
The entire talk was about cows; everyone was flummoxed but listened  
carefully and took notes about ... cows.  
There was a short break, and when Derrida came back, he announced,  
“I’m told it is pronounced ‘chaos.’ ” 
Before heading out to the office, I asked my eight-year-old daughter,  
“So, do I look OK?” 
She looked me up and down before giving me the thumbs-up and saying,  
“Not as bad as you did yesterday!” 

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