Newsletter and jokes 16 April 2021


 
Hi all 
 
The BAFTA Awards were last weekend ( winners at  
https://www.moviesite.co.za/news/bafta.htm )  
and the top film, Nomadland, is opening here today for your viewing pleasure. 
 
It's joined by another winner, Judas and the Black Messiah, with the other 
big winner, The Father, already on circuit. So the art circuit is now well 
stocked :-) 
 
Moving to the popcorn end of the market, we have two new releases. First up 
is the science fiction young adult drama Voyagers, while the tense family 
thriller Every Breath You Take is for adults only.  
 
No previews this week. 
 
New this week: 
 
* Voyagers (13 SVD) 
* Nomadland (13 LND) 
* Every Breath You Take (16 LSV) 
* Judas and the Black Messiah (16 LVP) 
 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (Cellphone wallpaper ...)  
 
List of all movies showing 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Showtimes 
https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
 
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 
 
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The pandemic has turned us all into dogs.  
 
We roam the house all day looking for food.  
 
We’re told “no” if we get too close to strangers.  
 
And we get really excited about car rides. 
 
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A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a  
shark.  
 
So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist. 
 
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Never run a fruit stand in an action movie! 
 
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It was difficult to see my two-year-old grand-daughter when the pandemic  
began. But when lockdown restrictions in our area were lifted last May, I  
visited her with my hand puppets, and we had so much fun.  
 
The next time, I forgot my puppets. I said I missed her and asked if she  
missed me.  
 
“No,” she replied, “I miss the puppets.” 
 
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Whenever I get discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words  
of my three-year-old after she puked carrots all over the living-room  
floor: 
 
“I’m going to need more carrots.” 
 
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My five-year-old son loves YouTube and seems to think that  
“Please subscribe to my channel”  
is a way to say goodbye. 
 
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When my grandson and I arrived at our vacation cabin, we kept the lights 
off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.  
 
Still, a few fireflies followed us in.  
 
Noticing them before I did, he whispered, “It’s no use. 
Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.” 
 
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One of my kids just told me to “ease up on the parenting a little bit.” 
 
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My wife is a teacher, and apparently one student has been changing his 
name to “Reconnecting” during the Zoom lessons so he doesn’t get asked any  
questions.  
 
He’s been doing it for weeks. The lad doesn’t need to worry about his  
education ... he’s already a genius. 
 
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When my son was six, he had a Superman rain cape. One wet morning before  
his walk to school, I told him to wear it.  
 
Scowling, he looked up at me and said, “You want me to fly away, don’t you?” 
 
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If you try to correct my grammar, I will think fewer of you. 
 
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Knock, knock. 
Who’s there? 
A broken pencil. 
A broken pencil who? 
Never mind. It’s pointless. 
 
Knock, knock. 
Who’s there? 
To. 
To who? 
To *whom*. 
 
Who’s there? 
Nobel. 
Nobel who? 
No bell. That’s why I knocked. 
 
Moo. 
Knock, knock. 
Who’s there? 
Time-travelling—cow. 
 
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