Newsletter and jokes 14 September 2018


 
Hi all 
 
It's a mostly-adults lineup this week, but unlike last week, we do have 
something new for the kiddies, in the form of Sgt. Stubby: An American  
Hero, but given the subject matter, I think it's wise to take the PG  
part seriously and watch it with them. 
 
For the rest ... the reboot of the Predator series has arrived in all  
formats to thrill and scare you. Enjoy. :-) 
 
On the art-and-similar circuit, we have two options, firstly a complicated 
love story in Submergence, and then a remake of a TV movie (and based on  
real events) about some smart-but-crooked financial types in Billionaire  
Boys Club. This film had a disasterous launch in the US, where it sold 
less than one ticket per venue on average on opening day, and was quickly  
pulled. This was blamed on Spacey's presence in the film, rather than any  
inherent lack of merit in the film itself. 
 
The sub-continent has two offerings, one Hindi and one Tamil, both in  
variants of the rom-com genre. 
 
On the previews side, there are previews next Thursday evening for A  
Simple Favour, Johnny English Strike Again, and gritty local crime thriller 
Mayfair. See the previews page and remember to book. 
 
Releasing 14 September 2018 
 
* The Predator (3D) (16 LVH) 
* The Predator (16 LVH) 
* The Predator (3D IMAX) (16 LVH) 
* The Predator (4DX) (16 LVH) 
* Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero (PG7-9 V) 
* Submergence (16 V) 
* Billionaire Boys Club (16 LSVD) 
* Manmarziyaan (Hindi) 
* Seema Raja (Tamil) 
 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper)  
 
Pick of the Week 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm   
 
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm  
 
List of all movies showing 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating. 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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I have decided to produce and sell a strong alcoholic drink called 
"Responsibly". 
 
That way everyone in the country can get wasted drinking Responsibly. 
 
And all the other drinks makers will be advertising for me on their cans 
with the slogan "Please Drink Responsibly". 
 
Probably will annoy the government as well. 
 
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An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting 
senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.' 
 
'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to 
zip down.' 
 
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In search of fresh vegetable puns ... lettuce know. 
 
I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don't know Y. 
 
Big shout out to my fingers ... I can always count on them. 
 
Crushing cooldrink cans is soda pressing. 
 
My mood ring is missing and I don't know how I feel about that. 
 
Electricians have to strip to make ends meet. 
 
Cow stumbles into pot field. The steaks have never been higher. 
 
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. 
 
What I if told you 
You read the previous line wrong? 
 
Ban pre-shredd cheese, make America grate again. 
 
Turning vegan would be a big missed steak. 
 
Out mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas. 
 
Well, to be Frank, I'd have to change my name. 
 
Dogs can't operate MRI scanners, but catscan. 
 
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Nine words women use... 
 
1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are 
right and you need to shut up. 
 
2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed , this means a half an hour. 
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more 
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 
 
3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and 
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end 
in fine.. 
 
4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 
 
5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement 
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot 
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you 
about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 
 
6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can 
make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before 
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 
 
7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say 
'You're welcome'. 
 
8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying **** YOU! 
 
9.) Don't worry about it, I'll do it : Another dangerous statement, meaning 
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is 
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's 
wrong?' 
For the woman's response refer to #3. 
 
 



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