Newsletter and jokes 26 June 2015

Hi all 
So we're halfway to Christmas already. It's holiday time for the youngsters 
so this week's lineup is, shall we say, more crowd-friendly than critic- 
friendly. Apart from Los Angeles getting the shakes, there's also a new  
Afrikaans rom-com. 
Jurassic World continues to rewrite the records, doing stunning business 
Disney/Pixar's latest release Inside Out is also doing very well. It clearly 
can't compete with the big-budget action blockbusters but for its target 
market, it's also making records. 
On the previews side, there's previews at Ster-Kinekor venues on Wednesday 
night for Magic Mike XXL. Note this is a "girls night out" event, no guys 
allowed. See the previews page and remember to book. 
M O V I E S 
26 June 2015 
* Ted 2 (16 LD) 	 
* San Andreas (PG10-12 V) 
* San Andreas (3D) (PG10-12 V) 
* 3 Hearts (13 S) 	 
* Hollywood in my Huis (PG7-9 L)  
SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit)  
Added US and UK Top Tens  
Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia)  
Forthcoming attractions for 26 June  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (nice HD wallpaper)  
Pick of the Week  
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?' 
The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so 
was all mankind made.' 
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father 
answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race 
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible 
that you told me the human race was created by God, and 
Dad said they developed from monkeys?' 
The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my 
side of the family and your father told you about his.' 
Viagra' is now available in powder form for your tea. 
It doesn't enhance your s*xual performance but it does stop your biscuit 
going soft. 
Historical mergers that didn't happen... (Thankfully) 
1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace 
Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace. 
2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and 
become: Poly, Warner Cracker. 
3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and and become: MMMGood.. 
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge 
and become: ZipAudiDoDa. 
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP. 
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell 
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants. 
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: 
Knott NOW! 
And finally ! 
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: 
Titty Titty Bang Bang 
When I got home from work last night, my wife demanded that I take her out 
to some place expensive ... 
So I took her to a petrol station. 

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