Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

If you enjoy movies filled with singing rabbits, exploding spaceships, or cheerleaders, you are holding the WRONG movie entirely.

This movie is extremely alarming, an expression which here means "a thrilling misadventure involving three ingenious orphans and a villainous actor named Count Olaf (Carrey) who wants their enormous fortune." It includes a terrible fire, delicious pasta, Jim Carrey, flesh-eating leeches, an incredibly deadly viper, Meryl Streep, and the voice of an imposter named Jude Law. The only things that could make such a spectacle more upsetting are special features, such as commentary by me or dismal deletions and obnoxious out-takes.

I am bound to continue my research into the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, but you are free to seek lighter fare, like blue cheese fondue.

With all due respect.

Lemony Snicket