The Moviesite Updates, 31 January 2014

Written by admin on 31 January 2014 – 11:49 -

Hi all

A small lineup this week, after a few releases were rescheduled.

Also up (but not on the new list) is SA Venda movie Elelwani, which had a
limited release late last year, but is now more widely available.

And lastly, you can now experience Gravity on the big IMAX screen…


31 January 2014

* Fire with Fire (16 LV)
* Gravity (3D)(IMAX) (PG7-9 L)
* Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (3D) (PG)
* Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (PG)

SA Top Tens (commercial, nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit)

Added US and UK Top Tens

Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre,
Movies@, and Menlyn Park drive-ins.)

Forthcoming attractions for 7 and 14 February

Updated the pic and quote on the home page

This Week’s pinup (for the gals)

Pick of the Week

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.

List of all movies showing

Same list sorted by Age Restriction

Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads… :-)

Cheers, Ian


2 guys in their mid-twenties were sitting at a bar. One of the guys says to
his buddy, man you look tired.

The buddy says, dude I’m exhausted. My girlfriend and I have s*x all the
time. I just don’t know what to do.

A fellow about my age sitting a couple of stools down had over-heard the
conversation, looked over at the two young men and says: Marry her. That’ll
put a stop to that!


An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a
German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an
Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a
Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian,
a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek,
a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a
Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech,
an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an
Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a
Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a
Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a
Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an
Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin
Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a
Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a
Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican,
a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean,
an Italian, a Norwegian, an Eskimo, an Englishman, an Irishman, a
Welshman, a Scotsman, an Indonesian with 62 refugee boat people, and 2
Africans, … walk into a fine restaurant.

“I’m sorry,” says the maitre d after scrutinizing the group. “You can’t
come in here without a Thai!!!”


A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their
She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him..
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in
front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
“What’s the matter, dear?’ she whispers as she steps into the room,

‘Why are you down here at this time of night?’
The husband looks up from his coffee,

‘I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating.

You were only 16. Do you remember back then?’ he says solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so
‘Yes, I do’ she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily..
‘Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?’
‘Yes, I remember!’ said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. ‘Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my
face and said,
‘Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?’
‘I remember that too’ she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says…

‘I would have been released today.’


I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull.
I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn’t even look at
a cow.
I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.
Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him.
He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young,
so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows!
He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor’s cows!
He’s like a machine!

I don’t know what was in the pills the Vet gave him .. but they kind of
taste like peppermint.


Alan and Sandra lived on a cove at Gull Lake Alberta.
It was early winter and the lower portion of the cove had frozen over.

Alan asked Sandra if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to
the general store and get him some smokes and beer.

She asked him for some money, but he told her, “Nah, just put it on our
tab. Old man Stacey won’t mind.”

So Sandra, being the good wife walked across the ice, got the smokes and
beer at the store and then walked back home across the cove.

When she got home with the items she said, “Alan, you always tell me not to
run up the tab at Stacey’s store. Why didn’t you just give me some money?”

Alan replied, “Well, Sandra, I didn’t want to send you out there with cash
when I wasn’t sure how thick the ice was!”

A love story like this almost brings tears to my eyes……..

P.O. Box 484, Sanlamhof 7532, South Africa
The Moviesite at
South Africa’s greatest movie site.

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