The Moviesite updates, 1 March 2013

Written by admin on 1 March 2013 – 11:26 -

Hi all

It’s a very action-orientated week this week. Also opening is a new
South African rom-com.

Speaking of SA movies, last week’s Verraaiers went straight to number 1
on the Cinema Nouveau charts … can’t remember if that’s ever happened


Released 1 March 2013

* 6 Bullets (16 LV)
* The Impossible (13 V)
* The Last Stand (16 LV)
* Fanie Fourie’s Lobola (7-9PG)
* Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away (3D) (10M)
* Beyoncé: Life is but a Dream

SA Top Tens (commercial, nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit)

Added US Top Ten.

Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre,
Movies@, and Menlyn Park drive-ins.)

Forthcoming attractions for 8 March

Updated the pic and quote on the home page

This Week’s pinup (for the guys!)

Pick of the Week

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.

List of all movies showing

Same list sorted by Age Restriction

Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating

DVDs and BluRays:

New releases will be up later at

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads… :-)

Cheers, Ian


A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer
approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually
played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, “We’re about
evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?” The first guy
said that he wasn’t much for betting, but agreed to the terms. The second
guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting
his $80.00. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and
liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish
Priest. The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.

The Priest said, “You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with
you. You keep your winnings.”

The pro said, “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

The Priest said, “Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a
donation…… And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I’ll
marry them!


An Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the
surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found
locally, so, the call went out. Finally a Scotsman was located who had a
similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman in appreciation for
giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds and $50,000 dollars.

A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective
surgery. The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to
donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a
box of chocolates. The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not
reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and
asked him: “I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me
another BMW, diamonds and money … but you only gave me a thank-you card
and a box of chocolates.”

To this the Arab replied: “Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma


The fattest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir C*mference. He
acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island. It turned out to be
an optical Aleutian

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was
a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road … and was cited for

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the
other: “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed
per passenger.”

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other
says “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.


For all of you who have made disparaging remarks about President Obama,
please read the following… I’m sure most of us have read the so-called
comparison of Lincoln and Kennedy, but did you ever consider the
relationship between Obama and Lincoln ? You might be surprised…
Parallels of Abraham Lincoln and Barack Hussein Obama:

1. Lincoln placed his hand on the Bible for his inauguration. Obama used
the same Bible.

2. Lincoln came from Illinois . Obama comes from Illinois .

3. Lincoln served in the Illinois Legislature. Obama served in the
Illinois Legislature.

4. Lincoln had very little experience before becoming President. Obama had
very little experience before becoming President.

5. Lincoln rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his
inauguration. Obama rode the train from Philadelphia to Washington for his

6. Lincoln was a skinny lawyer. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

7. Lincoln was a Republican. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

8. Lincoln was in the United States military. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

9. Lincoln believed in everyone carrying their own weight. Obama is a
skinny lawyer.

10. Lincoln did not waste taxpayers’ money on personal enjoyments. Obama is
a skinny lawyer.

11. Lincoln was highly respected. Obama is a skinny lawyer.

12. Lincoln was born in the United States . Obama is a skinny lawyer.

13. Lincoln was honest, so honest he was called Honest Abe. Obama is a
skinny lawyer

14. Lincoln saved the United States. Obama is a skinny lawyer.


P.O. Box 484, Sanlamhof 7532, South Africa
The Moviesite at
South Africa’s greatest movie site.

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