You might also like:The TV SiteThe Post Code SiteThe Blob GameKeyboard Design
The Moviesite logo

Newsletter and jokes: 22 September 2017



Hi all

Been a rather hectic week... they installed fibre last weekend and every
day since then I've been cut off... takes a least an hour to get them to
restore the connection. And of course this is in the middle of the night,
meaning I'm rather tired ...Almost makes me wish I was back on ADSL ... :-)

Anyway ... at the movies... some well rated movies for your viewing 
pleasure. But before we get to those, there is yet another SA film hoping
for Oscar glory, and it's showing this week at Rosebank Nouveau. 
Unfortunately I don't have it on my showtimes page, but it's showing all
week so just go... The film is Asinamali, based on Mbongeni Ngema'’s 
multi-award-winning musical.

As expected last weekend Stephen King grabbed both #1 and #2 at the box
office ... well done Stephen :-)

Right... this week sees The Emoji Movie hit the circuits. Reviews overseas
were generally terrible, and it was even part of Rotten Tomatoes famous
Zero club for a while. My daughter saw it this evening and was not 
impressed. In spite of all that, it is actually sticking in the top 10s
in both US and UK for a few weeks already, so clearly it is appealing to 
some people. 

Then we have a new Afrikaans film which seems to have divided the critics,
although from what I've read it may be politics influencing the opinions,
as opposed to judging the film on its own merits.

Bollywood provides one new release, while Hollywood brings two well-rated
films to the table... one a drama affecting one man after the Boston 
Bombings, and the other a rom-com-cross-cultural-drama which ticked all 
the boxes for the critics...

Lastly Kingsman: The Golden Circle is going on wide release next week,
but NuMetro has released the 4DX version this week. Please note that
although it is 4DX it is 2D not 3D. There is no 3D version.
But that's not all... there are previews all day Monday for the 2D and IMAX
versions .... see the previews page and remember to book.

We've also added the showtimes for two new Ster-Kinekor venues: i'langa, 
and Bulawayo.

Released 22 September 2017

* The Emoji Movie (PG)
* The Emoji Movie (3D) (PG)
* Vaselinetjie (13 LVP)
* Stronger (16 L)
* The Big Sick (16 L)
* Bhoomi
* Kingsman: The Golden Circle (4DX) (16 LV)

Newsletter and jokes
http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm

SA Top Tens (commercial, Nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm

Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia)

http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm

Forthcoming attractions for 6 October
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper)

Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm

List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Only in America...

You will not believe what happened to me today. I pulled in to get gas at
the Mobil.
Having only cash I had to pay inside.
As I was walking in, I noticed these 2 cops watching a man who was smoking
while pumping gas.
I saw him and thought, "is this man drunk, stupid, or just crazy?!! With
the cops right there too?!"
But anyway, I went inside and paid.

As I was checking out, I heard someone screaming, I knew what was
happening.
I looked out the window and the man's arm was on fire! He was swinging his
arm and running around going crazy!
As I went outside, the officers had to take him to the ground and they put
the fire out with their coffees!!
Then they handcuffed him and threw him in the police car.

I, being the curious person that I am, I asked the cops what they were
arresting him for...

The officer looked me square in the eyes and said ... "WAVING A FIREARM!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was on a Southwest flight once that was delayed at the gate after
everyone boarded. The flight attendant said over the intercom,

"We're sorry for the delay. The machine that normally rips the handles off
your luggage is broken, so we have to do it by hand. We should be finished
and on our way shortly."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------


An old fellow was snoozing away contentedly when he was startled awake by
the doorbell. He staggered off the couch to make his way to the door. There
stood a gorgeous young woman.

"Oh my goodness," the pretty young thing exclaimed, "I'm at the wrong
house."

"Sweetheart, you're at the right house," the old guy assured her. "But
you're forty years too late."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------


A fight broke out between a couple redneck locals and a lone biker at
closing time in the local watering hole. After easily laying out the
drunken hillbillies, the biker heard someone behind him! So he swung around
and landed a devastating kick to the groin,
realizing too late that it was only the barmaid picking up empty glasses.

When the case went to court, the judge asked, "Are you the woman alleging
she was kicked in the altercation?"

To which, she answered, "I ain't never had no altercation! These is all my
'riginal parts."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Joe was hired
by a warehouse. But one day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off
the loading dock.

Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to
withhold 10 percent of Joe's wages to pay for the repairs.

"How much will it cost?" he asked.

"About $4,500," said the owner.

"What a relief!" said Joe. "I've finally got job security!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman and her husband decided to renew our vows in a church, as they had
been married by a Justice of peace. Their oldest daughter
Karla was very excited about attending the wedding and shared it with her
class at school the next day. When her mother picked her up at school that
day, the teacher informed her that Karla had told the class, "My mother and
father renewed their bowels yesterday."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A woman was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned
asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," he
replied, "but I've been incapacitated."

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince her to change her mind and
volunteer.

She interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?"

The charity representative hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple years ago, I went to a bar with some friends. Above the bar I
noticed a sign that read: "For Sale. 1985 Henway. Excellent
Condition. Make Offer."

So I asked the bartender, "What's a Henway?"

He said, "Oh, about 2 to 3 kilos."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a
patriotic father pointing out a well-known building to his son.
"You see that triangular-shaped octagon over there? That's the Pentagon."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call a ghost's mother and father?
A: Transparents!

BhoomiStrongerThe Big SickKingsman: The Golden Circle (4DX)VaselinetjieThe Emoji Movie (3D)
Newsletter
The Emoji Movie
Like to receive e-mail notification when we update the site?
Your email address:

If you like this site, please tell your friends.
If you don't, please tell us.

Copyright © 1996 — 2017 Zero 2 Infinity



Venus
Ageless Body System
Movie Site
New
Showing
Previews
Pick
Top 10
4thcoming
Alphabetical
By date
By age
Showtimes
Alphabetical
By date
Pinup / Wallpaper
Industry
Star stuff
Fanmail
100 Best
Oscars
Razzies
GoldenGlobes
BAFTA
Ratings guide
Plots
Privacy policy
Contact us
SABC 1
SABC 2
SABC 3
eTV
M-Net
Follow moviesitecoza on Twitter
Follow moviesitecoza on Facebook
Subscribe to me on YouTube Google+