Hi all Long time since we've had a four day weekend. I trust those of you doing the Christmas thing are all sorted ... shops were quite busy today ;-) This week sees the videogame-to-movie Assassin's Creed, as well as a new foot-tapping animated treat for the kiddies. Rounding out the lineup we have an Afrikaans teen rom-com-drama, and a sports biopic from Bollywood. There are previews all over all day Monday for the sci-fi rom-drama Passengers, in both 2D and 3D. See the previews page and remember to book. Note that the local Top Ten lists have been suspended until next year. Enjoy :-) M O V I E S Released 21 December 2016 * Assassin's Creed * Assassin's Creed (3D) Released 23 December 2016 * Sing * Sing (3D) * Jou Romeo (PG) * Dangal (PG7-9) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, Nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily. http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 30 December. http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the gals?) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dennis was down at the local police station wanting to talk to the burglar who'd broken in his house the night before. The desk sergeant was adamant. "No. You'll get your chance in court, sir." "No, no, you don't understand," Dennis said. "I want to know how the hell he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance. She leaned over and pushed me!" ~Unknown "We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons." ~ Alfred E. Neuman "Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects." ~ Will Rogers -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One day I was reading a newspaper. On page two was a picture of a famous politician and his gorgeous wife. Slightly jealous of the politician, I turned to my wife and said, "It's unfair that the biggest jerks in the world catch the most beautiful wives." My wife smiled and replied, "Why, thank you dear." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young girl boards Flight BA3345 from Heathrow to New York and finds a seat in 1st class. As the Stewardesses check all the passengers, one Stewardess asks the young girl for her ticket. The young girl hands over her ticket, to which the Stewardess replied: "I'm sorry, but you are sat in the wrong seat" in a helpful manner. "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a Supermodel and marry a millionaire!" replied the young girl. The Stewardess was surprised at the young girl's answer, so she decided to call the Senior Steward. The Senior Steward decided that nobody was getting a free upgrade to first, so she also informed the young girl that she had sat in the wrong seat and was to sit in economy at the rear. "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a Supermodel and marry a millionaire!" replied the young girl in a firmer tone. The Senior Steward thought that this might be a job for the Co-pilot, so she asked the Co-pilot to try to resolve this matter. Therefore, the Co-pilot decided to have a go to see if he could move the young girl. "Excuse me Miss, but you're sat in the wrong seat" said the Co-pilot. "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a Supermodel and marry a millionaire!" replied the young girl. "I'm sorry Miss, but if you don't move to your proper seat, I'll have to ask you to leave the aircraft" replied the Co-pilot. "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a Supermodel and marry a millionaire!" replied the young girl. Being new to this game, the Co-pilot decided to consult the Captain. "Let me sort her out" said the Captain. The Captain then approached the young girl and whispered in her ear. As the Captain returned to the Flight deck, the young girl got out of the seat and proceeded down the aircraft towards her proper seat. "Cor, what did you say to her?" asked the Co-pilot. To which the Captain replied: "I told her 1st class wasn't going to New York". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following: We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to The Villages, in Florida. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass.. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.. There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on. At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck. My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------