Hi all Two big releases this week, to distract you from the exams. First up is Alice going back to where things are weird, while the other is a kinda buddy-cop movie without the cops, providing action and thrills. Also up is Melissa McCarthy doing what she does best, although it appears that the version releasing here is a bit tamer than what the Yanks got to see. Probably hit a wider market that way. Lastly, there are previews all over today and tomorrow for upcoming local rom-com Mrs Right Guy... see the Previews page and remember to book. M O V I E S Released 27 May 2016 * The Boss (13 L) * Alice Through the Looking Glass (PG V) * Alice Through the Looking Glass (3D) (PG V) * Alice Through the Looking Glass (3D)(IMAX) (PG V) * The Road Within (16 LSD) * Bastille Day (13 LVN) * Idhu Namma Aalu (Tamil) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily. http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 3 June. http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (wallpaper for the gals) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A fellow turns to his wife in bed and whispers, "Did you know that today is National Orgasm Day?" "Oh,what a pity," she said, "Right in the middle of National Headache Week!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country: "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through." "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless doc*ment." "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because, that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?" "Warning! You want a warning? O. K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop." "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?" "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can." "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail." AND THE WINNER IS... "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- "WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was. "Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Sat*rday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY". There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, ....... so that's why no one was at church today." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Colorado were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and move d her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow and just then the electricity went off. The wife had a worried look on her face when she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, the husband replied... . . . "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, 'Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year.' And that's how the fight started... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------