Hi all I trust Friday the 13th has been kind to you. Those angry birds hit the big screen today, in essence it's the back story for the popular games, however it's strictly for the kids. Also up is a new Afrikaans rom-com, as well as two further adult comedies, one a rom-com and the other a war-com (if there is such a thing outside of M*A*S*H) Lastly, there are multiple previews all over next Thursday evening/night for the upcoming X-Men: Apocalypse, in 3D, 3D IMAX and 4DX ... see the Previews page and remember to book. M O V I E S Released 13 May 2016 * Azhar (Hindi) * The Angry Birds Movie (PG V) * The Angry Birds Movie (3D) (PG V) * Uitvlucht (PG10-12) * The Perfect Match (16 LSD) * Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (16 LV) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily. http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 20 May. http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the gals) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was having a drink the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?" One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!" So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?" And that's the last thing I remember. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- KFC Hong Kong has announced that it's created edible nail polish. It will come in two flavours, Original and Hot & Spicy. KFC says, "To use, consumers simply apply and dry, like regular nail polish, and then lick, again, and again, and again, and it ís finger lickin good." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM AN ARAB STUDENT TO HIS DAD An Arab student sends an e-mail to his dad, saying: Dear Dad Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train. Your son, Nasser The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mailfrom his dad: My dear loving son One Hundred million dollars have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, Dad ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers, and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and the people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each, and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant said to the villagers: “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.” The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere! Now you have a further understanding of how the stock market works. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her some warm milk to drink but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen and remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you die." She raised herself up in bed and said, "Don't sell that cow."