Newsletter and jokes: 8 January 2016

Hi all

Sorry this is late ... was busy with other things and it slipped my mind...

Last week of the hols for the kids, so the lineup this week is a bit 
low-key, but does include a new Afrikaans comedy.

Star Wars is continuing to set records overseas and has now surpassed
Avatar as the numerical box office champion in the USA (but still has far
to go to catch Gone With the Wind in inflation-adjusted dollars. It's about
halfway to catching the initial film in the series).


M O V I E S

8 January 2016

* Joy (PG7-9) 	
* Secret in Their Eyes (13 V)
* 'n Pawpaw vir my Darling (PG10-12 L)
* Wazir  (Hindi)

http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm

SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Added US and UK Top Tens
http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm

Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia)

http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm

Forthcoming attractions for 15 January.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (wallpaper for the guys)

Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm

List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian

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New Year's resolutions...

Having given up smoking two weeks ago, I decided to take the advice from a
health magazine which suggested starting a hobby, so I started doing
pottery lessons.

And the first thing they taught me to make? ... An ashtray.

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I had these two blokes knock on my door today so I kept them talking while
my Girlfriend nicked their wallets.

Let's see if Jehovah witnessed that.

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Golf...

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your
swing.

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead
of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately
shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball
halfway there..

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about
the golf swing.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.

It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt . For a 10.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like
expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight
line that passes directly through the centre of a very large tree.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of
the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much
earlier age.

It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the
yard.

Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having
to pray a lot.

A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are...
that's why I get so many calls to play with friends.

If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.

Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you
need to buy fresh ones each week.

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If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Sarah Palin" in the subject line,
do not open it. It might contain a virus.

If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Hillary Clinton", do not open it.
It might contain nude photos of Hillary Clinton.

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When a woman wears a leather dress,
A man's heart beats quicker,
his throat gets dry,
he goes weak at the knees,
and he begins to think irrationally.

Ever wondered why?

Because she smells like a new car.

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