Hi all As expected, Star Wars: The Force Awakens smashed all sorts of box office records around the world, especially in the USA. No word yet of how it did locally but SA is traditionally not the best market for sci-fi films (with Avatar being the notable exception). It continued breaking records during the week, and they're expecting more this weekend. So it looks like Hollywood (and Disney in particular) is ending the year on a massive bang. Just by way of comparison, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2, after 5 weeks on the US charts (4 at #1), had taken 254 M$. Star Wars, by the end of its first weekend, was already at 248 M$. Locally this week it's kind of a 'catch up and breathe' week... the big release had reviews embargoed until Christmas (when it opened Stateside) and the other two had disappointing performances in the US. On the previews side, there's previews all over today for The Good Dinosaur, which opens next week. Note that due to New Year next week, the new releases will open on the 31st. M O V I E S 24 December 2015 * Point Break (PG10-12 LV) * Point Break (3D) (PG10-12 LV) * Steve Jobs (13 L) * Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (PG) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Added US and UK Top Tens http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 31 December. http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the gals) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- An oldie, but given the time of year and how much we eat ... A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Brisbane. 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?' After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding Cake?!' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Punny... How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo. I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. When chemists die, they barium. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. Broken pencils are pointless. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Velcro - what a rip off! Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager. When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20. The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we've decided to give the Norwegian the job. Murphy, "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job. Manager, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong. Murphy, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another? Manager "Simple; on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down, 'I don't know. You put down - Neither do I. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Airlines .... United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people, we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!' On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.' An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a 'Thanks for flying our airline.' He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, •Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?' 'Why, no, Ma'am,' said the pilot. 'What is it?' The little old lady said, 'Did we land, or were we shot down?' 'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments. 'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses except for that gentleman over there.' Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City; the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, 'That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it Wasn’t the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.' Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - 'Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em.' A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom; 'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax.... OH, MY GAWD!' Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!' A passenger in coach yelled, ‘That’s nothing. You should see the back of mine!' A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- An old nun, who was living in a convent next to a construction site, noticed the coar*e language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. And so, she decided she would take her lunch and sit with the workers. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and asked: "And, do you men know Jesus Christ?" They shook their heads and looked at each other, very confused...One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?" One of the steelworkers yelled down , "Why?" The worker yelled back," Cause his mom's here with his lunch." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------