Newsletter and jokes: 26 June 2015

Hi all

So we're halfway to Christmas already. It's holiday time for the youngsters
so this week's lineup is, shall we say, more crowd-friendly than critic-
friendly. Apart from Los Angeles getting the shakes, there's also a new 
Afrikaans rom-com.

Jurassic World continues to rewrite the records, doing stunning business
worldwide.

Disney/Pixar's latest release Inside Out is also doing very well. It clearly
can't compete with the big-budget action blockbusters but for its target
market, it's also making records.

On the previews side, there's previews at Ster-Kinekor venues on Wednesday
night for Magic Mike XXL. Note this is a "girls night out" event, no guys
allowed. See the previews page and remember to book.

M O V I E S

26 June 2015

* Ted 2 (16 LD) 	
* San Andreas (PG10-12 V)
* San Andreas (3D) (PG10-12 V)
* 3 Hearts (13 S) 	
* Hollywood in my Huis (PG7-9 L)

http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm

SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Added US and UK Top Tens
http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm

Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia)

http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm

Forthcoming attractions for 26 June

http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (nice HD wallpaper)

Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm

List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian

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A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so
was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father
answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race
evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible
that you told me the human race was created by God, and
Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my
side of the family and your father told you about his.'

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Viagra' is now available in powder form for your tea.

It doesn't enhance your s*xual performance but it does stop your biscuit
going soft.

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Historical mergers that didn't happen... (Thankfully)

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace
Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and
become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and and become: MMMGood..

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge
and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell
Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!

And finally !

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name:
Titty Titty Bang Bang

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When I got home from work last night, my wife demanded that I take her out
to some place expensive ...

So I took her to a petrol station.