Newsletter and jokes: 15 May 2015

Hi all

With exam season in full swing, most of the new releases are aimed at an 
older audience, with particular emphasis on the art circuit. Speaking of 
which, the 3rd Turkish Film festival is running at the Cinema Nouveaus, and
entry is free (yes, free). Go spoil yourself :-)

The big release this week is the action comedy Spy, which has had excellent
reviews overseas as well as being crowd-friendly.

On the box office side, Pitch Perfect 2 continues to do well, both here
and abroad. F&F7 has likely had it's last weekend on the Top Ten here, 
having earned in excess of 71 MR in 9 weeks. In comparison, Avatar took 14
weeks to hit 55 MR.

M O V I E S

5 June 2015

* Spy (16 LV) 	
* The Guest (16 LVD)
* Song One (PG10-12 S) 	
* Very Good Girls (13 LS)
* Dil Dhadakne Do  (Hindi)

http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm

SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit)
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Added US and UK Top Tens
http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm

Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia)

http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm

Forthcoming attractions for 12 June

http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the gals)

Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm

List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian

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Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying
the same principles.

Every day, I go to the street and tell a passerby what I have eaten, how I 
feel, what I have done the night before and what I will be doing tomorrow.

I give them pictures of my wife, my daughter, my son, my dog and myself 
gardening, spending time in my pool and what great accomplishments I have 
made that day (or even years before).

I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.

And it really works: I already have 3 people following me: ....Two police
officers and a psychiatrist.

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An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to
counter offensive tactics. That summer, the area had experienced an
infestation of rattlesnakes. Officers and NCOs were given one magazine of
live ammunition to counter this danger, as several men had already been
bitten.

So much ammunition was expended shooting, supposedly, at snakes that the
post commander demanded that every officer and NCO who had shot at a snake
present the dead snake as proof that the expenditure of rounds was
justifiable.

The next day, the post commander entered his office and spotted a shoe box
on his desk. He opened it, revealing a sleepy and sluggish, but very live,
rattlesnake. Inside the box were twenty expended cartridges, and a short
note.

The note said, "I missed!"

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There was a hound dog laying in the yard. An old man in overalls was
sitting on the porch.

"Excuse me, Sir, but does your dog bite?", the tourist asked.

The old man replied, "Nope."

So the tourist stepped out of his car. The dog ran over snarling and
growling and bit him on his arms and legs. As the dog was dragging him
away the tourist was flailing around in the dust and yelled, "I thought
you said your dog didn't bite!"

The old man replied, "Ain't my dog."

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A blonde was mowing the grass in her back yard and accidentally cut off the 
tail of her cat, which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along 
with the tail over to Pick 'n Pay!

Why Pick 'n Pay?

HELLOOOOOOOOO!

Pick 'n Pay is the largest retailer in South Africa.!!!

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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at
him.
She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he
knows her from.

So he says, 'Do you know me?'

To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to
his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I
made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your
partner whipped my butt with wet celery???'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

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WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND

One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even
in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in
front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when
he approached her. Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No
one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her?
He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He
knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.

He said, 'I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where
it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.'

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad
enough.
Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning
his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he
had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began
to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just
passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed
him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined
all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan
never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was
helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given
him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never
occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she
saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance
they needed, and Bryan added, 'And think of me.'

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and
depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into
the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a
bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her
trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas
pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and
brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one
that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady
noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let
the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how
someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she
remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The
waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the
old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the
waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then
she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: 'You don't
owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the
way
I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do
not let this chain of love end with you.'

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve,
but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home
from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what
the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her
husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard
...

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her,
she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, 'Everything' s going
to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.'

There is an old saying 'What goes around comes around.' Today I sent you
this story, and I'm asking you to pass it on. Let this light shine.